Bubba's Revenge
by SailorCheron
Summary: When Arianne of Serenitatis learns that she is going to be wed to Schuyler of Iybola, her childhood nemesis, she decides that something must be done. For Bubba's revenge, not to mention her future, is at stake! Please R&R!! THIS STORY IS NOW COMPLETE!!
1. Prelude

Hey people! How many of you are tired of the same old fics again...and again...and again? Search no more!! This story is a result of my best friend and I putting our heads together when we were very suger high (be afraid). It's about Lady Arianne of Serenitatis. It promises to be very amusing and entertaining.  
  
Disclaimer: Although this story will keep you at the edge of your seat, if you fall off, it's not my problem. Go whine to someone else. And ...~sounding strained~ Must I say it? Ouch!!! Okay, okay, geeze, talk about tempramental! I don't own Tortall or any of the surrounding lands, but that won't last long! ~shakes piggybank threateningly~  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
Kerry of Serenitatis raced down the hall, giggling madly. She was being chased by her younger sister, Arianne. Arianne was 16 years old, Kerry was 17. Kerry was married to Matthew of Rugby, happily, I might add, and had come to visit her rapidly growing sibling. Both women were beautiful, and considerably different. Kerry sported waist-length straight chestnut hair, and loved nothing more than to run around and get dirty and be in the thick of things while Arianne had light brown hair that fell to her shoulders in ringlets and loved nothing more than to curl up in a cozy little niche and lose herself in a book.   
At the moment they were playing their favortie childhood game, seek and hide. Kerry had hidden beneath one of the stairwells in Fief Serenitatis. Arianne, knowing her sister too well for her own good, found her on her third try. Kerry was trying to escape but to no avail. Arianne had lived in Serenitatis all her life, and knew all of the castle's passageways. Kerry was soon cornered in a room that they both remembered well, one with amusement, one with remorse. The game was forgotten, as they gazed at *his* casket.  
Arianne sighed loudly and Kerry attempted to supress a giggle. Kerry failed. The giggle turned to a chuckle, and the chuckle turned to rolling on the floor with uncontrollable laughter. Under Arianne's reproachful glare, she quailed and uttered a last gleeful peep befor dashing out of the room.   
Arianne scowled after her sister and turned back to stare longingly at the final resting place of her love. She could still picture the day as if it were yesterday. Her screams, the bite of the ropes that held her to a tree, and her enemy's face leering at her unpleasantly. She closed her eyes and recalled... 


	2. Recollections

Chapter 2! Hmmmm......I think that we will discover some vital secret about Bubba in this chapter. You will find that he is...not what he seems. ~laughs maniacly~  
  
Disclaimer: I actually own everything!!!! Oh wait, drat! I don't own the excerpt from a poem by Emily Dickinson in line 14. AAAAGGGGGHHHHH! Will it never end!? Oh, and by the way, you'd better not steal my story. I have friends in high places, you know!! Yup, my cat's been up in that pine tree for the past 50 years.  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
She could still feel the burning pain as he submerged her love, Bubba, into River Serene over and over, mercilessly grinning. Schuyler of Iybola, the name sounded so foul and so, so....evil! Before the "incident of '53", as local residents called it, she had liked Schuyler, he had even been considered a suitor for him. Him! A suitor! She didn't want to breath the same air as him, let alone marry that slimy piece of rotting fungus! (A.N. oooh...harsh!)   
Bubba...she could almost remember his glorious face if she concentrated hard enough. It had been a long 5 years. Still...  
His face sprung into her mind, his features reminding her of what she missed. The fuzzy brown ears that graced the top of his flawless forehead brought her inexplicable joy. (A.N. Now wait a second...;) His melodius pink-button nose, surrounded by the joyous soft fur that covered his face had a certain light to it that filled her with warmth. (A.N. Hmmm...I wonder.) And the rest of his luminous features were too wonderful to describe. He was 7 inches of pure and simple bliss. Yes, Bubba, her beloved....................................  
teddy bear. (A.N. Now who saw that coming?) Ah, Bubba, I hear your name like a bell, ringing, ringing, in my heart.   
Schuyler, a horrid man, to be honest, and a cruel man. They had been playing together in their youth near the river that surrounded her Fief. He had always snickered when she had played with Bubba, and she had never known why. Was it because of Bubba's vertical impediment? No one would ever know why. Anyway, he had crept up behind her and pounced, tying her laughing self to a tree; she had, of course, been laughing. Schuyler was always making mad jokes. She abruptly stopped laughing when she realized that her love had not been tied. Schuyler had taken Bubba, and then...oh the horror! It was hard even to think about it!   
Schuyler had taken Bubba and held him under water for a long period of time. Then, just when we would have drowned, Schuyler pulled him out, and Arianne though that Schuyler had seen the error of his ways. Then, Schuyler turned to look at her, and she instantly knew that she was wrong when she was hit with the impact of those merciless blue eyes. He dunked Bubba in again, never taking his eyes off of her. This time, he didn't bring Bubba out.  
Oh, Bubba! 


	3. Interlude

The elusive chapter 3 is here! Bubba the Teddy Bear! You never would've guessed, right?  
  
Disclaimer: Must I state the obvious? I don't own anything from the Tamora Pierce books. Otherwise my name would be Tamora Pierce, and it's not! (At least not the last time I checked)  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
Arianne sat in Bubba's shrine. His gold-edged coffin graced the table in the center of the room. A window in the corner illuminated it with soft golden sunlight. Arianne felt tears welling up in her eyes at the sight of it. Oh Bubba!  
She tried to stay out of this room as often as possible so as to block out the painful memories. She had loved Bubba. Bubba had been her teddy bear since the day that she was born. 11 years they had frolicked and played. Then, he had been heartlessly taken from her. Poor Bubba!  
She was really doing much better. She had her tears under control in just over 6 months! Of course, her parents, Lady Franette and Lord Ronald, had hired the best psychiatrist in the realm of Tortall. She knew that she was over him, but still, she would never forget him. She would also never forget that on that day, on that terrible, terrible day, as she watched Bubba breathe his last, she made a promise to herself.   
That promise was one to avenge Bubba. She would get Schuyler, it was only a matter of time. Bubba's revenge will not be long in coming!  
With that silent proclamation, Arianne sighed and stood up, shaking out the light blue silk gown that matched her eyes. She threw one last longing look at the remains of Bubba and walked gracefully out of the room. She had to find Kerry.  
Kerry had composed herself by then, and was in her rooms. When Arianne found her, she was looking very grimly out the window. When Arianne tapped her shoulder, Kerry turned around to face her sister. Whatever reprimand that Arianne had formed in her mind for her behavior earlier collapsed in on itself as she saw pity in her older sister's eyes. Arianne abruptly sat down and asked Kerry what was wrong. Kerry looked at her for a long moment and carefully said,  
"You're wanted in the Great Hall, Ari." Arianne smiled at the nickname reserved for her sister's use.   
"Why, Ker?" Another long-used nickname. Arianne was curious about the command though. Normally, the Great Hall was used for only very important events and visitors. Kerry looked more serious then Arianne had seen her for a very long time. Whatever was going on, it had to be urgent. Usually, before such an event, the girls had at least a week's notice. Neither girl recalled hearing about anything. They obviously had to leave quickly. However, they couldn't go in their everyday dresses.   
Not waiting for Kerry's answer, Arianne remarked, "We'd best change into fancier clothes then." Kerry nodded and wordlessly went to her closet as Arianne left her sisters chambers and went into hers, which were just across the hall.  
Once inside, Arianne sighed with content. Her rooms were just the place to get rid of troublesome memories and worries and thoughts of revenge. However, she had no time to sit around. After gently brushing her delicate curls with a comb, she washed her face and went to her closet. There was quite a selection as Arianne loved to dress up. Being pressed for time, she made a quick decision and took out a moderately low-cut flowing red gown with gold embroidery winding down gracefully to the waist. The red looked well against her pale skin and emphasized her slim figure. Applying some face paint, she surveyed herself in the mirror. 'Hmmm. Not bad for five minutes.'   
She then left the room and went across the hall to get Kerry. Her older sister came out looking very presentable. Her dress was much the same as Arianne's, except a higher neckline and in green instead of red. They smiled at one another, and set off to the great hall. 


	4. Problems

Chapter 4! Mister Shnopps or whatever your name is, I don't care what you say, it's CHRISTMAS!!! Sorry this one took so long, I was having major writers block. Happy holidays everyone!  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Tammy's books.   
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Kerry and Arianne walked into the Great Hall. It had very high ceilings that were painted light-blue. All 30 high-backed chairs were gold-inlaid with red plush cushions. The chairs surrounded a highly-polished long oak table, with fresh cut flowers eveyr few seats. It was their parents' triumph.   
Arianne noticed that 5 of the chairs were occupied. Two of the people were her parents looking extremely grave. The other three...Arianne stared. Lord Mostopholis and Lady Mal of Iybola were smiling nastily at Ronald and Franette, her parents. The fifth was...Oh Horror of Horrors! Schuyler of Iybloa lounged in his chair, looking bored. He heard Arianne gasp and turned to face her, smirking.  
Arianne surveyed him, impressed. The bad skin that he had had as a boy had gone. His orangish hair had not changed. He was quite tall, maybe 5'9". Needless to say, he was very handsome. He would have been even more good-looking if it hadn't been for that icy look in his bright-blue eyes.   
The four adults turned at the sound of Arianne's gasp. Her mother forced a smile. Her father didn't even try.   
Her father rose and said to the visitors from Iybola, "Lord Mostopholis, Lady Mal, and Schuyler of Iybola, may I present my daughter, Arianne of Serenitatis?" Arianne, taking her cue, walked reluctantly to the table and curtsied gracefully to the foreigners. Schuyler rose and kissed her offered hand, gazing up at her mockingly. Arianne's insides writhed with contempt at the touch of his icy lips on her warm hand. She sat in the chair next to him, as protocal dictated. Schuyler sat however her father remained standing. He took a deep breath and said, "Arianne, you are to wed Schuyler of Iybola a fortnight before Midsummer." 


	5. Illusions

Sorry it took so long! Oh, and by the way, Schuyler is pronounced Shoo-lur.  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Arianne stared. First, at her father, who had just said some words that should not even be spoken in the same breath, let alone in that ORDER. Second, at her mother, whose eyes held pity and something else. Then, Arianne looked at her sister, who was crying. She knew how Arianne felt about Schuyler. Kerry understood. Finally, Arianne turned to face Schuyler. His eyes caught her attention first. So many girls she knew would swoon and sigh over those eyes, but not Arianne. She looked a little deeper. She saw it. It was cleverly disguised, but she had seen it before. The evil was there. It told her the reason that Bubba was no more. It told her that Bubba would not be the last.   
The facade that he put on infuriated her. He increased the layers that covered the evil. He smiled charmingly and took her hand. Arianne was made to sit with him like that for the dinner that was held in honor of the guests. (The wedding had not been announced formally yet.) Schuyler held her hand under the table, occasionally stroking her knuckles. He was very "friendly", trying to engage her in conversations about topics that she was interested in. Arianne, being sickened, played with her food, never really taking a bite. Whenever Schuyler talked, she flashed her most faux smile and nodded occasionally.   
She would have slapped him when he stroked her hand, because she knew his game. His touch was not loving, nor his gaze. However, the others present did not know of his mockery. She attempted to pretend not to notice it, and stared down at her plate, purple with rage. When they finally left, Schuyler dropped behind his parents, and strode to the doorway to the fief, where Arianne was standing. He smiled a dashing smile and stopped about 3 feet from her. He said in a well-oiled voice, "I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent with you, Arianne." Arianne shuddered at the lack of formality that he used. He however, seemed to think nothing of it and continued. "I fear that I will not last until Midwinter, and will, like a flower, wilt without the presence of your sunlight." His smile broadened and he took her hand and kissed it, his lips no warmer than the first time, clearly displaying the insincerity of his words.   
Arianne displayed her most insincere smile and replied, "You are kind to pay me this attention. I am fairly sure that you will not be wilting anytime soon. Good day to you, Schuyler." Then, disgusted, Arianne curtsied gracefully, swooped back into the castle, and slammed the carved oak door. 


	6. Sisters

Thanks for the nice reviews!!!! Please excuse the grammar, (or lack there-of) I'm in kind of a rush. I also have a question for everyone. How do you solve a problem like Maria?--LOL Kerry. I decided to do this one in first person. Please review and tell me if it's better first person or third person. Thanks. Here's chapter six.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the shirt on my back-and the pants on my butt. Sorry--I felt that the expression always left something out. :)   
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
I chewed my lip in anguish on the way back to my rooms. This was too much of a horrible situation to be angry. I was about to take the most direct route to my room, which went through the Great Hall, but then reconsidered. I had to think, and NOW. Midwinter was only a month away. Besides, I don't feel much like talking to my parents just now.   
I took the servants route. The wooden floors in the servants wing was pitted with centuries of termites whose efforts went unchecked. Still, it was clean. Even if it hadn't been, I had bigger problems then a dusty hem line. I sprinted towards my rooms. If I was lucky, I would encounter no one on my mad dash to sanctuary.  
I wasn't lucky.  
At the end of the corridor that opened right in front of my door, stood Kerry. She looked sympathetic, but smiled slightly when I came to a screeching halt. When the dust finally settled (most of it on me), I looked at her half in exasperation, half in amazement. I sighed, "Kerry, you know me too well." She laughed with a lightness that had been nonexistent in the last few hours. I opened like a flower in the sun and smiled appreciatively.   
Kerry simply asked me, "Do you want to talk about it?" I knew that she wouldn't press the issue if I didn't. There wasn't anything that we didn't understand about each other. I moaned, attempted a feeble smile, and failed miserably. I responded, "Not particularly." She nodded, gave me an encouraging smile, and walked off in the opposite direction of my rooms, but not before giving me a quick hug as she passed. Gods I love my sister. 


	7. Escape!

R&R Please!!!  
Disclaimer: ~Tune of "this land is your land"~ (and a 1, a 2 , a 1, 2, 3, 4...) From the Grimhold Mountains, to the Southern Desert, I own nothing from Tortall!  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Arianne slipped into her room, quietly shut the door and sagged against it, burying her face in her hands. She thought to herself, "How am I going to get out of this?" Of course, it never actually occured to her to marry Schuyler. No, that was definately NOT an option. She sighed and walked the length of her sitting room to her bedroom. It's elegant light-blue hangings embroidered with silver thread didn't delight her as they normally did. It was just another reminder of WHY this was happening to her.   
She hadn't thought about marriage, not really. Of course she had known that her marriage would be arranged. It was even that way among the commoners. She never thought that her parents would stoop so low. It didn't help that Iybola was a wealthy fief ina good location either. Or that Schuyler was an eligible handsome knight, just entering the age of 18. Arianne at on her bed and drew the hangings. It always helped her to think. She then set to thinking about how she was going to handle this.   
About half an hour later, Arianne rose from the bed with a grim expression on her face. She knew what she had to do, and was prepared to do it. She went to her closet and took out a knapsack, brown leather in mint condition. She grimaced. That would never do. Arianne conjured up some of her gift (Kerry and Arianne were both gifted), which was bluish-white in color, and thrust it at the knapsack. This was a simple aging spell. In a few moments, the knapsack looked 20 times its actual age. Perfect.  
Arianne hastily packed a few of her more ragged clothes. Then, she took out her favorite frock, which she couldn't bear to part with, and used an aging spell on that too. She then threw some hygenic items and ones with emotional signifigance into the sack.  
Done with the packing, she changed into her "old" clothes. She sat down at her writing desk and took out a sheef of paper and wrote.  
  
Dear Kerry,  
Knowing you, you probably anticipated that I might do something like this, being you. Be that as it may, I must ask you not to let on that you know anything of what has become of me. Please burn this letter immediately after you read it. I know that you will understand. I can't marry him. I am almost certain that I will not be seeing you for quite a long time. I plan to go into hiding. No, I'm not going tell you where, and don't try looking for me either. By the time you read this I will be long gone.   
I just wanted to let you know that I love you, and I promise that I shall see you again someday.   
  
Love,  
Arianne   
P.S. Bubba will have his revenge!  
  
Arianne folded her letter, wiping away a stray tear, and slipped it in their secret mailbox, an envelope-like paper behind a portrait of the Great Mother Goddess. She stared at it for a great many minutes, thinking of all she had shared with Kerry, how they would finally be separated, perhaps forever. She shook herself, set her chin, and walked back to prepare for her escape.  
She took one last look around her home for so many years, hoisted her knapsack on her shoulder, and disappeared in a flash of bluish-white light. 


	8. Decisions+Deaths

Chapter 7. I'm sorry about the Kel thing. Kerry insisted because she hates Kel.  
Disclaimer: I own all characters except the ones that I don't own!!!!  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Kerry tapped her foot impatiently as she sat and embroidered with some ladies who were passing through Serenitatis that day. The reason that she was impatient was that it had been 3 hours since the Iybolians has left, and she was worried about Arianne. She was also incredibly annoyed. That amazingly obnoxious Keladry of Mindelan was among the ladies, and Kerry had always hated her. She was so emotionless and..... weird. Finally the ladies began to leave, and after about 20 minutes, Kel was the only one left. She and Kerry were having a heated discussion about arranged marriages. Kerry got tired of looking at Kel's calm face, uttered a war cry, picked up her embroidery and beat Kel to death with it. Then, feeling extremely satisfied, she walked at a leisurely pace to Arianne's room to check on her.  
She reached Arianne's chambers, humming a cheerful victory ballad, and knocked lightly on the door. There was no response, so she knocked a little harder. There was still no answer, so she turned the knob and walked into the room. She called her sister's name, thinking she might be in the privy or crying. She heard nothing in response. She began to get worried. She walked quickly through the sitting room and ducked into the privy, but no Arianne. She peered into her sisters window seat, where she often sat to think, but there was no Arianne. Then, rushing headlong across the sitting room, she flung her sister's bedroom door open. A quick glance told her that Arianne was definitely not there. Just as she was about to go check the castle library, a bluish-white glow on Arianne's writing desk attracted her attention.   
She walked over to the desk, and picked up the letter that was glowing with the color of the Serenitatis gift. She read it with shaking hands, her face turning paler with each word. When she finished, she slumped down in the chair in front of the desk and uttered a low moan. She rubbed her neck in an exhausted fashion. She thought about what she would do, and after a few minutes of reflection, decided that she wouldn't do anything. She had wanted to go after her little sister, but Arianne needed to work it out on her own. Kerry had always helped her in the past, but this was to serious for Kerry to take care of. Besides, her sister was pretty smart. She would be alright.  
Kerry then did exactly what her sister instructed her to do. She took the letter to the sitting room, where the fireplace was. This was always lit, and made it easy for Kerry. She carefully removed the screen that covered the fire, being sure not to get any soot on her sister's rug. That might arouse suspision, for the servants were never so careless.  
Then, kneeling before the fire, Kerry reread Arianne's letter, just to be sure of what it said, and tossed it into the heart of the fire. The cheerful flames licked at the edges of her sister's letter, and curled it into a light brown roll of parchment. A few seconds after, it dissentegrated into ash, and fell to the fireplace floor. Kerry watched the whole process, never blinking, and thought a prayer to the goddess. Arianne would need it. 


	9. Corus

Sorry about the delay!!! Oh, and guys??? R&R PLEASE!!!! I'm begging you! I need feedback from someone besides Kerry the ESK (Embroidery Serial Killer).   
  
Disclaimer: We all have our stupid moments. Mine was not buying Tortall from Tammy! Oh well, there's always tomorrow :)  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Arianne materialised in a dark alleyway in Corus, capital of Tortall. Her knapsack was slung over her left shoulder, as she had seen some teenagers do in her fiefdom. She was lucky that Serenitatis was not far from Corus, or she would not have to able to teleport directly there.   
Arianne gazed at her surroundings, taking everything in. The streets were dirty, and people hurried past her alley, not noticing anything. (A.N. Think NYC.) The roads were cracked and overturned cobblestone, obviously laid down long ago. Either that, or the city people had iron feet. The air smelled strongly of dirty people, and Arianne, used to fresh country air, had to breathe through her mouth.   
She cautiously stepped out of the alley, her head down as not to attract attention. She walked down the street, attempting to look like everyone else, uninterested. In truth, she was awed. She never knew that there could be so many people in one place. She surveyed the shops on either sides of the street that she was walking on. She had to get someting to eat. Doing serious magic like that took a lot out of her. She had brought a fair amount of money. If she used it sparingly, it would last her 6 months. She had known from the start that she would have to find work, and she knew where she was going to go to get it. It was where young ladies her age most often found work. The Royal Palace.  
After a few minutes, she found a small food shop, and purchased a loaf of bread and some cheese. She had decided to buy some dresses from a dress shop she had found earlier, and after that she would spend a few nights at an inn. It was already getting dark, and she needed to be fresh to pull this off.   
She walked out of the food shop and walked in the opposite direction to the very nice-looking dress shop that she had noticed. At an intersection, she discovered it once again. It had the name writted above the door. The sign read, "Lalasa Isran-Fine Dressmaking". Arianne had glimpsed all the finely made clothes in the window on display and had decided that this was one of the best.  
The store was painted light blue on the outside, and the sign was in neat gold lettering. Attached to the inside of the door were a bunch of brightly polished silver bells, to alert the owner-Lalasa, she supposed- when a customer had entered. The inside of the shop was very tidy, the desk being in the corner, with racks of clothing lining the walls.   
Arianne stepped up to the welcome mat in front, and trying to look like a well-off commoner, stepped inside. 


	10. Enter Erin

Hey guys! Sorry about not writing for a long time. January is the 7th circle of hell in my school. If you liked ESK (Embroidery Serial Killer), go to diamondflame's page and read her version, which is all about Kerry. It's called the Over the Deep End Version of Bubba's Revenge. Check it out. Also, I have 22 review for 9 chapters. It's really pathetic. I'm writing this stuff for you. The least you can do is tell me what you think. If I don't get at least 1 review for this chapter, I'm going to stop writing this story. Please please please please please please please REVIEW.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own TP books. Never have, never will.  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Bells chimed from a back room as I entered the dress shop. A young lady about my age hurried from behind a door in the corner of the shop. She had long and straight light brown hair and wore a countenance that was everything but unfriendly. As the woman drew nearer to me, I could make out the name tag on her shirt. It read "ERIN" in bold, black letters. Erin held out her hand for me to shake, and I took it. Grasping my hand firmly, Erin stated, "Hello, I'm Erin."  
Duh.  
Erin continued, "Welcome to Lalasa Isran's Dress Makers. She makes the dresses, I organise the dress orders. What can I do for you?" She spoke with a faint Gallan accent (A.N. a.k.a. Irish accent-I think). I smile. I liked her no-nonsense way of doing things.   
I responded, "I am staying in the city for awhile and need some low-key dresses." I didn't think that Erin would ask questions, because it was common for women to want to blend in with the crowd.   
Erin smiled slowly and nodded. She gestured toward some chairs on the side of the store, motioning for me to sit down. She said, "Please have a seat while I fetch some things that I think will be satisfactory. I thanked her and sat.  
About an hour later, I walked out of the shop, smiling proudly. I not only had 10 new inconspicuous dresses, but had made a new friend. After confessing to me that she hated working at the dress shop, we had chattered (me being very vague about my backround) like old friends. She was 15 and MARRIED! She had laughed at my shock and explained that they marry as young as 14 in the city (A.N. Sound familiar?). Her husband's name was George Mostopholis, and as her marriage had been arranged, she was a little bit indignant about it. I personally thought that she took it very well.   
Anyway, she promised to show me around the city tomorrow, as it was her day off. I would buy undergarments and the like, and see all the temples and important things. She had recommended an Inn to me called "The Pot of Gold". I found it at exactly the place that she had said it was. It looked very clean, for being in the city. I rented a room on the top floor. The room was very normal and conservative. It reminded me of Erin. Speaking of Erin...  
I conjured a piece of paper, some ink, and a quill. I wrote in capital letters, "DO NOT DISTURB". Erin had told me about certain unscrupulous people that might "disturb" me during the night, and had told me to hang this sign on my door, to ward them off. I laughed rather foolishly at the thought, but did what she told me, just the same. You never knew what these city people were likely to do. 


	11. Enter Anya

Chapter 11-in which I show off my vocabulary! Grab a dictionary folks, it's gonna be a bumpy ride! :) oh-and will somebody PLEASE review and tell me if I should finish this in 1st person or 3rd person? Thanks. Check out Diamondflame's version of Bubba's Revenge. It's hysterical. Toodles!  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
I stayed at the Inn for two weeks, and discovered something about myself. Although I had never objected to being a princess, I sometimes found myself wishing that I could go out and shop and talk like all of my friends in our fief. Well, the two weeks I spent in Corus convinced me that, being a princess, I had definately missed out.   
We giggled our way through the markets of Corus, buying a trinket here and there. The buzz around the city was that a serial killer was on the loose. She was known as ESK-which stood for Embroidery Serial Killer. Her victims were beaten to death with embroidery.   
I didn't worry about that, though. I had bigger fish to fry. Namely Schuyler of Iybola. Did you think I had forgotten about him? No way. He was the reason that I wasn't home with Kerry (A.N. Not that she WAS home)and the rest of my family. He was the reason that I was keeping a low profile in the city. Oh no, I hadn't forgotten about my vow to Bubba.   
I was almost sure that there was some sort of plot behind my marriage to him. There had to be a reason. He may be evil, but he's not stupid. Gold was recently found in Serenitatis, (A.N. No, I can't come up with something more original) and ever since we started the mine, we have become one of the most wealthy and prosperous fiefs in Tortall. I was certain that he was trying to get his hands on the gold.  
But I really didn't want to think about him right now. I was having such a good time with Erin. Yesterday, her husband,(who she never liked) had fallen off a roof like the idiot he was. Yes, I had met him, and I didn't think much of him. So, now we were celebrating Erin's freedom-yes, celebrating- by going to a nearby party. We broke heart after heart, never dancing with any of the men who asked. They were all half drunk. Our toes would be in serious jeopardy.   
The best part of the evening was when we met a young lady there who was just barely holding off the drunks as we were. Her name was Anya, and as soon as I met her, I knew that I had found my next city friend. She had very thick, shoulder-length blonde hair, and she was 16 like me. Sometimes she just wouldn't shut up (A.N. J/K Anya!) and had a hell of a temper.  
Example-handsome drunk man comes up to her and asks her if she wants to. Smelling the alcohol in his breath, she politely declines. He grabs her and begins to dance anyway. Now, Anya doesn't exactly look vulnerable, but she doesn't look like she could break someone's leg with one kick. That guy obviously didn't have any idea how strong she was, otherwise he never would have dared to do that. As soon as he had grabbed her, she twisted his wrists with her hands and kicked him powerfully in the shins. He fell to the floor, his leg twisted out of shape. His face contorted with pain, he looked perfectly sober now. Anya glared down at him and said, "I think now that you have a better understanding of the word no. Now get out. OUT!" She screamed the last word and that man shot to his one foot and hopped out of the door so fast that you would think that demons were after him.   
After staring in amazement at my new friend, I slapped her five and said, "You go girl!" 


	12. Famous Last Words

Okay! Are you ready for another short-but-too-long-in-coming chapter? Here it is! By the way, once agina I apologize for my tiny chapters and their long delays. You have no idea how busy I am. I decided to fit this into my schedule though, since I got Cold Fire!!! Yay!!! Anyway, I was feeling generous. Enjoy and please please please please please REVIEW!!!! I have 29 reviews for a story that's been up since January. It's really depressing. Help me out here!  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
After the celabratory night, the rousing chorus of "Ding-dong, the husband's   
dead!" (A.N.-Tortall version of The Wizard of Oz's "Ding-dong the witch is dead"), still   
rang in my ears. However, I picked a bad night to party. Today, the palace was hiring,   
and I had to be in the best condition for them to take me on.   
  
I sat down at the mirror that the inn room contained, and grimaced at the deep   
bags under my eyes. Oh well, easily remedied. I took some recently acquired face paint   
out of my suitcase and applied it liberally beneath my eyes. To top it off, so I didn't look   
like a ghost, I added some rouge to my cheeks. I stole a peek at the mirror and was   
pleased with the results. Kerry had taught me well.  
  
Thinking about Kerry started another train of thought. The gossip around the city   
was that the Embroidery Serial Killer had started in Serenitatis. I hoped that Kerry and   
my family were all right.   
  
And thinking about killers, well you can guess where that led me. Schuyler.   
Rumor also had it that he had come to stay at the palace. This was a golden opportunity   
for me. Even though I was in hiding because of him, it didn't mean that I couldn't test my   
theory. I was still almost certain that he was up to something. I was going to find out   
what. Bubba, your revenge will not be long in coming!  
  
With that morale-boosting thought, I walked out of my room, locked it with a key   
and my gift, trotted down the stairs, and strode confidently out of the inn's door.  
Using a trick that Anya had taught me, I walked with a sure stride, my head held   
high, my hands down at my sides, and my eyes level. Men attacked those unable to   
protect themselves. If you looked the opposite of frail, they didn't glance twice at you.   
  
As I approached the palace, I let go of my woman-in-charge mode. No men dared   
to do such a thing in sight of the Palace Guard.   
  
I walked up to a member of the Palace guard, who led me to Selma, the head of   
the team of palace servants. She was very friendly, and assigned me to part-time kitchen   
duty, and the rest of the time I was to serve some recently-arrived nobility. At first I had   
some misgivings about this, but then I relaxed. Serenitatis was a little known fief, and no   
one would recognize the youngest unmarried sister.   
  
Famous last words everybody. Famous last words. 


	13. Day One

Chapter 13 is here! I have one word for everyone. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
It's really depressing not having more reviews. Anya doesn't count. She has no life. JK ANYA! :) Come on!   
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
I was given one day to learn what I was supposed to do, and then I would begin to serve. A young woman with long, curly brown hair offered to show me the ropes. Her name was Caitlyn. She took me with her to clean the room of a duke whose name I didn't catch. She taught me not to EVER skip the corners, to ALWAYS fluff the pillows from both sides, and to never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER do anything different than from the day before. The idea was to make them believe that the servant was very well trained. For some reason, nobility thought that consistency meant experience. I know I didn't.   
  
That night, I was tingling with anticipation of the next day. I didn't even mind the servant's quarters so much. The sheets were clean, there were no bugs or rats, and the privy was behind a curtain. Sure, it was the size of a bathroom and supposed to hold 6 people, but beggars can't be choosers. I winced at that expression. Was I a beggar? Just becasue I was wearing commoners clothes, working as a servant and sleeping in a servant bed, did it mean that I wasn't a noble anymore?  
  
I shook off that train of thought, and forced myself to plan my revenge. The first step would be to find out where Schuyler was quartered in the palace. That should be easy enough. Servants gossip to no end. The next step would be to buddy up to whatever servant was tending his room. The rest of my plan would have to be built around whatever came of that. Satisfied, I rolled over and drifted off to sleep dreaming of sweet Bubba.   
  
I woke up at the sound of a bell. I glanced out the one tiny window in the room. It looked to be about an hour before dawn. These crazy city folk have got the bell wrong. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE gets up before DAWN. But, judging from the servants all around me that leapt out of bed, I had stumbled upon the one place in the world where they did.   
  
I half stumbled, half rolled out of bed, tangling myself up in the sheets. Caitlyn laughed infectiously and held out a hand to me. Noticing her lively, wide-awakeness, I glared up at her. She laughed again and asked me where the cheerfullness she had seen yesterday had gone. I replied that my good mood awoke at the same time as the sane population of the world, and to try me in a couple of hours. She made a wonderfully astute prediction that I was not a morning person. I groaned in response.  
  
Once I had all the right clothes on all the right body parts, and after various occasions of forgetting to open doors or opening the wrong ones, I made it down to the servant's mess. I could tell that I was one of the last ones to get there. I found Caitlyn after tapping some wrong shoulders. She seemed too giddy to be allowed. I shot daggers at her from my eyes, grabbed a tray, put something on it (I wasn't really paying close attention), and sat down next to her. She grinned at me and trillied, "Eat up, we've got a big day!" My response: "Mumble-wumble."  
  
Somehow, I managed to choke down a few lumps of mush, and I thanked the gods that my taste buds hadn't awoken yet. Selma then stepped up to a podium in front of the room, placed two fingers in her mouth, and whistled so loudly that I was sure some snow was shaked loose at the Roof of the World. Needless to say, the whole room fell silent. Selma then announced the new arrivals, and we stood up. There were 10 newcomers. She read our names and whose room we were to tend. I was second to last, and I was nervous. What if I was chosen to wait on someone whom I knew!? That would be the end of me. I would have to disguise myself if that happened. And then it happened.  
  
"Arianne Greene, please stand." I had obviously created a false last name. "Arianne, you will be assigned to room 3417, currently occupied by Sir Schuyler of Iybola."   
  
The bottom of my stomach plummeted to the floor. My heart raced, and I was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. My plans were surely ruined now. I would have to run away, perhaps to another country. I might even have to stage my death. I would need to leave immediately, taking only a....  
  
Caitlyn tugged on my arm, everyone in the room was staring at me. I quickly sat, my cheeks burning. There was only one more name after mine, and then Selma stepped down and everyone resumed talking. Caitlyn whispered excitedly to me, "You got the Iybolian! Everyone's talking about how handsome he is! He only just arrived here at court!" I halted her with a hand and said to her in a low, ominous voice, "Caitlyn, you don't understand. That man is evil. He...he's a murderer. Stay away from him." She stared at me wide-eyed for a moment, and then her lips curved in a smile. She laughed, "Of course I undertand! You want him all to yourself!" My mouth opened in disbelief, and I worked my tongue a moment before being able to speak. "That's ridiculous! He's a MURDERER! Do you want me to spell it for you? M-U-R-D-E-R-E-R. I loathe him!" Caitlyn still didn't believe me, from the look on her face. She skeptically asked, "Who did he murder, then? Face it girl, you've never even met the man!" I was about to retort when I thought better of it. I was going to leave, so what was the point of giving them more clues as to my identity? I decided to pretend to agree with her, even though it went against everything that I believed in. I forced a smile, and then lied, "I guess you're right. Maybe it's just a rumor."  
  
I walked out of mess faster than everyone else, quickly formulating a plan of escape. I couldn't leave now, it would have to be at night. That meant cleaning Schuyler's room today. I would have to conjure up a wig. I decided to make it the opposite of my hair. Dirty blond (very common in Tortall), straight as a sword, and middle-of-the-neck short. The last thing I wanted was to stick out. If he was in the room when I went in, I would just face away from him the whole time, my "hair" shielding my face.  
  
I ducked into a corner and quickly conjured up a wig. I pinned my hair up (after being reared as a noble, you never went around without some hairpins in your pocket), and slipped the wig on. Perfect fit. I grabbed the cleaning supplies I would need from the room where a number of them were ready, and set off towards room number 3417. 


	14. *HIM*

Chapter 14 is here! I would give everyone an excuse to why I haven't written a chapter in a month, but I would be lying. It's just been one thing and another. Add my chronic laziness to that mix and here's what happened. I'm really sorry. It's a good thing Anya's such an annoying *****. LOL JK Anya. Thank her, because I had almost forgotten about Bubba's Revenge.  
*In the fourth or fifth paragraph, the word "lady" is starred. This is because in this time period, Lady is what was used to address a woman whom you did not know the name of, or admired. In today language, Schuyler's hitting on Arianne.   
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
It just figures that an evil man's room would be at the top of three flights of stairs and a twisted staircase. Not to mention that the corridor was extremely long. I began to wish fervently that the servant's quarters were not on the first floor. Come to think of it, my exhaustion might be to my advantage. Maybe if I'm extremely tired, I'll have less room for worrying.   
  
There's # 3414. I must be completely out of my mind! There goes # 3415. I can't clean his rooms! There's #3416. He's going to recognize me and murder me too! I stopped before *his* door. A plaque at eye-level read, "Room #3417: Sir Schuyler of Iybola". I'm dead. I can hear my heartbeat booming like a cannon, and I'm hoping that no one else can. My hands were shaking like leaves as I knocked three times on the door. As I did this, I resolved to see a healer, because my body really shouldn't keep disobeying me.   
  
Footsteps were coming from inside the room. I have to get out of here! RIGHT NOW! They're coming closer. No time to run! The doorknob is turning! I have to remember the city accent!   
  
Schuyler of Iybola stood in the doorway, his face impassive. He demanded in an annoyed voice, "Yes, what is it?" I cursed him, as I was not quite ready to speak yet. Oh well, no time like the present to face your fears! "Sir, I have been assigned to clean the rooms of Sir Schuyler of Iybola." I dipped a small curtsy. He smiled slightly (the smile didn't fool me a bit, he thought he was going to win over his maid---me! As if!) and replied, "Oh, excuse my rudeness, *Lady." He swept me a suave bow. "I thought that with your lovely face, you might have been another annoying noble. I'm so pleased that I was mistaken."   
  
I didn't blush. Who did he think he was kidding? Instead, I decided to pretend that I was pleased. I gave him a small smile and curtseyed again as I said, "Sir, you are kind to one such as me. Now, if you don't mind," (I said this non-sarcastically, although it was difficult.) "I need to clean Your Lordship's rooms. May I come in?"  
  
He smiled in a way that would have been handsome if I didn't know better, and stepped aside. He picked up my hand and kissed my fingertips, saying, "Anything for a pretty lady." I didn't pull my hand away, for the risk of blowing my cover, but I felt like I was going to throw up from revulsion. The man knows he's betrothed and he flirts with palace servants? Could he possibly be any lower?   
  
When he released my hand, I picked up my bucket and uttered a swift, "Thank you, sir." You'll never believe what he said then. He swept me another suave bow and said, "Please, lovely one, call me Schuyler." And then he walked out the door and closed it behind him, walking down the corridor. Leaving a very disgusted and nauseated me alone in his rooms.   
  
The End for now.   
So, what'd you think (besides you, Anya)? Oh, and if anyone's wondering why I'm so mean to Anya, it's because she's mean to me, and that's the way our friendship works. It's not really meanness. Lol.  
I thought we'd do something fun and have a poll. You guys will determine which way the story goes from here. Just put your choices in your reviews.  
  
Choice A: Schuyler knew that she was Arianne of Serenitatis the moment he saw her, wins her over (they fall in love) and it turns out that he has changed and he apologizes about Bubba.  
  
Choice B: Arianne finds evil plans in Schuyler's rooms and stays at the palace indefinitely trying to unravel his intricate plot.  
  
Choice C: Bubba's revenge is fulfilled when Arianne kills Schuyler. After which she returns to her fief.  
  
Choice D: Kerry. the ESK, has to flee to the city and she sees Arianne there. They join forces, Kerry also adopting the palace servant disguise, and they kill him together.  
  
All for choice D, say aye! AYE!!!!!!!!! 


	15. Guess who's Back?

Chapter 15 has arrived everyone! Sorry it took so long, and I have one word as an explanation. PROCRASTINATOR. Yup, that's me, I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Sorry again! Sorry bubblegum girl, but it was 4 to 1. Choice D wins. Enjoy!  
  
Bubba's Revenge! I set down my bucket of cloths and soaps and looked around the main room of his suite. I didn't think much of the fact that his windows and shutters were all locked. If he locked them during the day, then he would definitely lock them at night. That meant I had to rule out the possibility of climbing through his window to kill him at night. For you see, I was already planning the final stage of my revenge. I decided that there was more important work to be done than cleaning right now, so I ran into my archenemy's bedroom and looked around. YES!!!!!!!! Oh, the gods must approve of my plan because something this perfect couldn't be accidental! There was a giant window on the wall, and there were no shutters, and no windowpane. The only thing there was a shade that could be pulled down and hooked to a knob on windy nights. Life is good. As I formulated my plan, I made His Lordship's bed. The scumbag didn't even leave the sheets tucked under the mattress. An hour later, I closed the door to Sir Schuyler of Iybola's palace suite with a sigh of relief and walked down the hallway. I was out of that filthy hellhole. I walked fairly quickly down the corridor. I had no desire to run into him. Later that night, Erin, Anya, Caitlin, and I went into Corus to buy some fashionable earrings that everyone except me seemed to wear. I didn't want to stand out.plus they were very pretty. The man who sold them did business relatively far from the palace, so we had quite a bit of walking to do. I didn't care. I really needed to get away from the palace. I was too afraid of bumping into Schuyler. We were halfway there when we started to hear the thumping sounds. They got louder and louder. They made us all a little jittery. We were just passing a dark alley when Caitlin screamed and fainted. The thumping abruptly ceased. Anya and Erin rushed to try to revive Caitlin. I however, walked over to the alley. What I saw there almost made me faint too. My sister Kerry was standing there, half hidden in the shadows. 


	16. Perfect

Disclaimer: I own all the characters, but Tortall belongs to that unreachable idol, Tamora Pierce. Chapter 16 has arrived, and I actually have an excuse this time. I've been home for two days in total during the past month. Lady Knight's coming out in 4 days!!!! ~leaps with excitement~  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Kerry and I just stared at each other for long moments. Several attempts were made to speak, but all failed miserably. Finally, after about 5 minutes of open-mouthed gaping, I spoke. "WHAT are you doing here!? Why are you in a dark alley? Why do you look like a hollow-eyed murderer? And how." Kerry closed a hand over my mouth before I could finish my tirade. Her hand still locked on my mouth, Kerry of Serenitatis introduced herself as such to my two conscious companions, Erin and Anya (Caitlin was still in a dead faint on the ground). Then Kerry once again addressed me. "Hello Arianne, it's nice to see you too. And no," responding to my muffled yells, "I was not looking for you."  
  
I glared at my sister. Was this the end? Would I never avenge Bubba? Was Kerry going to drag me home by the scruff of the neck, like a bad dog?  
  
Not if I could help it!  
  
I wrenched herself out of Kerry's grasp and faced her. "Why are you here?" I asked through clenched teeth. Kerry didn't answer right away, but averted her gaze as if she felt guilty about something. By then, Caitlin had awakened and was demanding an explanation. Anya and Erin couldn't seem to get over the fact that I was on such frank speaking terms with a noble. If only they knew.  
  
After a while, Kerry answered slowly, as if each word was painful for her to speak. "I'm in hiding."  
  
I stared. What could she possibly be hiding from? While I was examining the possibilities, I caught a glimpse of a square of embroidery behind her back. Suddenly, it was like a sub-conscious puzzle had just been completed before my eyes. Kerry was the Serial Killer everyone was talking about. The one who had killed Keladry of Mindelan at Serenitatis.  
  
Perfect. 


	17. Final Revenge

Chapter 17 is here, and it's about time. Sorry guys! You have no idea how busy I am this year (well, maybe some of you do *cough* Anya *cough*). Also, I just saw Tuck Everlasting (SOOOOO good by the way) and it's taken me a while to get back into Tamora Pierce mode. Tee-hee. So sorry again and enjoy chapter 17 of.  
  
Bubba's Revenge!  
  
Arianne had already begun formulating her plans to convince Kerry to join her crusade to avenge Bubba's death. Should she use her patented puppy-dog-face? No. Puppy-dog-faces don't work on Embroidery Serial Killers. It looked like all signs were pointed to "tell the truth!". Oh well, here goes nothing. "So, Kerry, what do you think of Schuyler?" she asked, attempting a casual conversation. Kerry looked very taken aback, as if she wasn't thinking about that at all. She replied, "Well, I never liked him much, even before he mutilated your stuffed animal." Arianne exploded, "HE IS NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL!" She went dreamy- eyed. "He's a TEDDY BEAR!" Arianne sighed and continued to say, "the most perfect teddy bear to ever walk the planet." She turned to Kerry as if nothing had happened and told her to continue. Eyeing Arianne strangely, Kerry told Arianne her opinion about Schuyler. It consisted of the following: "I didn't mind him terribly until the day that you were betrothed. I noticed then that he was trying to play "Mr. Wonderful". That really got on my nerves. I also noticed how much you loathe and despise him. I could tell because you were using your dangerously polite voice, and you were so stiff sitting next to him that I could have snapped you in half. That's the real reason that I hate him; you hate him. I have to go with your instincts." __________________________________________________________________  
  
And so it went. And before Arianne knew it, she and Kerry were scaling the castle wall, heading for Schuyler's bedroom window. __________________________________________________________________  
  
Arianne and her sister entered Schuyler's shadowy window stealthily, making no noise and becoming like shadows themselves. They slunk over to his bed, looked down for a moment on his loathsome face, and then softly made noises of disgust. Arianne and Kerry went to opposite sides of the bed. They simultaneously exchanged grim nods, and both pulled out long, thin objects from the small sacs that they were wearing. The feeble light of a waning candle by Schuyler's bed illuminated the objects. They were long, polished pieces of wood, topped with an inch or so of very flexible horsehairs. Some would call it a Paintbrush. Others (such as Arianne and Kerry) would call it an Instrument of Ultimate Revenge. Out of the sacs came another thing. Both girls pulled out red jars labeled "PermaPaint---WARNING---use extreme caution, paint cannot be removed by physical or magical means and will remain on the painted object until the end of time" (A.N. Hey, they had mages! It could happen!). Arianne mouthed to her sister, "I'll take the stomach, and you take the head." Kerry nodded to show she understood, and grinned whilst she pulled a semi-blunted knife from her sac. Arianne took the knife and cut slowly through Schuyler's shirt, splitting it down the middle. She handed the knife back to her sister, and then dipped her Instrument of Ultimate Revenge (known hereafter as "IUR") into her PermaPaint jar. She grinned in spite of herself, and set to work  
  
Their task was completed. The sisters climbed back out of the window, the size of their sacs increased by a hundred. Having difficulty trying to stifle their laughter, they quickly climbed down the wall and ran out of the palace gates. Then Arianne and Kerry threw their sacks into a large stream that fed into the Royal Forest. They watched them bob up and down towards the forest until they were out of sight.  
  
~That Morning~  
  
Schuyler woke up, smiling in a sinister way. He had dreamt that he was finally married to that Serenitatis girl (what was her name? Oh yes; Arianne) and he had control over her fief, having killed her family members, just like he planned to do when she surfaced. She had been missing for several weeks, now. He frowned at the thought. If she died, then he would have to go to a lot of trouble to kill the other Serenitatis girl's husband and win her hand in marriage. The Serenitatis fief was well worth the trouble, though. Chock full of black opals. Those foolish peasants walked on mountains of the stuff and didn't even notice it. "And to think," he mused. "I wouldn't have known about it either if I hadn't come across a chunk of it when I was running through the forest, playing Seek-and-Hide with that stupid girl." He laughed softly to himself. He supposed it was time to get out of bed, so he yanked himself out of his drowsy state and pulled the covers down. He noticed with some surprise that he no longer had a shirt on. He also noticed that he could feel skin on the back of his head brushing the pillow. That was weird; he was a firm believer in a full head of hair. Also, his room looked somehow different. He couldn't quite place it in the early morning hours, but. Mirrors. The whole room was one big mirror. The walls, the floor, the ceiling, and with the help of said mirrors, Schuyler noticed something else, and let out and earsplitting yell. Drawn directly on his stomach was a red teddy bear, and one of its eyes was closed in what was unmistakably a wink. Right above the teddy bear, on his chest (which was covered with hair when he had gone to bed the night before, and now was not) there was something painted in the same color red, clear as day, that read, "You messed with the wrong." Schuyler put the whole thing together and it was, "You messed with the wrong teddy bear". Remembering the feeling of bare skin on his head, he looked up at the ceiling (now a mirror) and read the message that was painted on the top of his shaved head with the same color as the other. It said, "Bubba's Revenge!" Schuyler gaped for a moment, and then he gaped some more. He sat on his bed for a full ten minutes, staring at his 6 reflections, which seemed to be mocking him. He was trying to remember if he had ever met anyone by the name of Bubba, and what he had done to offend them. Finally, he got out of bed and walked to his chest of drawers, prepared to wear the heaviest and most concealing clothes that he owned. Even a hat would be necessary until his hair grew back. He opened one of his drawers, and was mortified to find that it was completely void of anything save a piece of parchment with an illustration of a teddy bear on it. He was catching on now. He flung open all the drawers, one after the other, and it was the same with them. He moaned in panic and ran across his mirror/floor to his closet. He opened it, and it was completely empty. It seemed to Schuyler that the silence that followed was full of laughing voices. He roared his frustration and stormed into his main room. Again, mirrors had taken the place of his walls. The wood had been taken off of the fireplace and tossed across the room. There were ashes smeared all over his favorite green chair. And above the mantle piece was a picture of something that by now he wished had never existed. A teddy bear. Winking.  
  
Arianne and Kerry waited apprehensively at the entrance to the noble's dining hall. Schuyler would be down any moment. They had heard a bloodcurdling scream almost 15 minutes ago. They were just about to leave when they heard something that sounded like footsteps coming their way. Almost like footsteps, except they were almost silent, as if the one who was walking was tiptoeing, not wanting to be discovered. Kerry and Arianne exchanged diabolical grins and resumed their posts by the dining hall door.  
  
When Schuyler came into view, the sisters were hard pressed to keep from falling on the floor and dying of laughter. He was completely devoid of clothes save for the large picture of Bubba that the girls had placed above his fireplace. This he had strategically wrapped around his midsection, almost like a loincloth. The messages that they had painted on him shined brightly and clearly as day. Arianne and Kerry allowed themselves medium-sized mocking smiles, so he wouldn't suspect them and ruin the final stage of their revenge. As soon as Schuyler saw the girls, he blushed a cherry red, and started to slouch towards them. He said in a low voice that quivered slightly, "If either of you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will personally see to it that you are accused of adultery and discharged in disgrace. Is that perfectly clear?" The sisters tried to look meek and frightened, but it failed. Arianne decided that this was the time to reveal herself and complete Bubba's revenge. She pulled off her blond wig and shook out her curls, straightening her back and lifting her chin, as a noble should. Kerry, following her sister's lead, removed her black curly wig and shook out her hair. Schuyler gasped and began to back away, stumbling over polite explanations, "Lady Arianne, I beg your pardon.how.what." It seemed as if Schuyler had given up the explanations, because in the next second he made a move like he was going to make a run for it. Arianne grabbed him painfully by the arm, whispered "For Bubba" and thrust him through the dining hall door, in the midst of dozens of Tortall's most powerful people, including the entire Royal Family. Arianne and Kerry magically repaired the glass door in a fraction of a second, cutting off the evil one's only possible means of escape. They gave each other high-fives, and skipped all the way out of the palace and into Corus, where Arianne of Serenitatis bid farewell to her friends. After saying goodbye, the sisters bought an inexpensive packhorse with Arianne's remaining money and set off at a steady pace for Serenitatis. Schuyler stood in the center of hundreds of eyes, all on which seemed to be focused on him. There was a very awkward silence as the nobles of Tortall stared at the man with a teddy bear on his stomach, and nothing in the way of clothes besides a picture of the very same teddy bear fashioned into a type of loincloth. There was a titter here and there, suppressed giggles, and Schuyler almost thought that politeness would save him, as no one would be so forward to comment on him. He was just about to slip out of the door when a very small little boy grabbed him by one of his fingers and said in a very solemn voice, "Mister, you gots a teddy bear on your tummy." This was the final test for the well-brought up, noble audience. To make a long story short, they failed the test. The crowd of onlookers howled with laughter and pointed at the almost bare man with a picture of a stuffed animal painted on his torso with bright red paint. Schuyler swirved to face the little boy and raised his fist as if to deliver a crushing blow. He might have succeeded if a sapphire blue light had not enfolded his hand, immobilizing it. King Jonathon, the mage king, gazed calmly down at Schuyler of Iybola, saying, "Sir Schuyler, I confess myself extremely disappointed. A knight does not behave in such a fashion. Disgracing your fief and family by putting on this outrageous display is absolutely unacceptable." The corners of the king's mouth twitched. "And to attempt to strike a child, especially one of noble birth, is definitely not part of the Code of Chivalry. To flout the Code of Chivalry in such a manner can only lead to one punishment." The crowd gave an audible hiss, and Schuyler cowered. The king continued, "Schuyler of Iybola, you leave me no choice but to strip you of your Knighthood and your noble title. Let us hope that you will see fit to behave more appropriately in the future as a common peasant." Schuyler gaped at the mage king, and began to stutter. He looked around as if begging his former noble brethren to speak for him, but no one did. Then it hit him. He was no longer Sir Schuyler of Iybola, betrothed of Arianne of Serenitatis; he was Schuyler, peasant of Tortall. He slouched slowly out of the room, amidst the booing of the crowd, and then he slouched slowly out of the palace gates, and eventually he slouched slowly out of Tortall into Scanra, never to be seen again. As for Arianne, she became betrothed again, this time to Timothy of Harrold, whom she truly loved, and they lived happily ever after. 


End file.
